Employment

This past week or so, I've been missing my work a bit. I blame Cheryl for it, since she's been telling me about work and the way that my previous post is being filled and whatnot. I've offered to help get the new girl prepared for what awaits her in August, so they are coming over today during Little's nap. Ever since I've known they are coming, I've felt this sort of excitement that only a crazy (or a person who loves teaching) feels at the prospect of lesson planning in the summer. Of course, I won't actually be planning any lessons, but I will hopefully be giving her constructive advice on how to handle the material she needs to cover for the AP kids.

I find myself torn between two jobs that I love: mommy and teacher. Going back to teaching would be great (and stressful) and great (because things always look better from a distance, don't they? Especially the things we no longer have). Leaving my baby would be horrible. I couldn't handle it once, so what makes me think I could handle it a second time? Insanity. Mommying is, of course, in a sense, teaching, but at the same time, a baby is no highschooler.

All of this leads me to wonder what exactly my vocation is. Wife, mother, got that. But a career? I will, inevitably, return to the workforce once Little is in school (provided we don't have any more children). The question is, in what capacity will that be? Teaching is still (quite obviously) where my heart is, but when it comes down to the day-to-day grind, I still don't know if I can find a balance between that and the other more important aspects of my life. I've always wanted a job that can just stay at work. One that doesn't need to come home every night. Summers and holidays are great, but there's so much "extra" that goes in during the year, and I have never been good at balancing anything, so how do I reconcile that with the time my daughter requires? Granted, as she gets older, she will need (and want) less and less of my attention, but it's hard to separate what I envision life to be like in my head versus reality. I suppose we'll cross that bridge when we get there; it's hard to think about anything in a realistic manner right now anyway. And ultimately, God will guide me to the answer when the time is right.

So, if not teaching... what else? Will any job offer a sense of fulfillment? Mothering and teaching are such thankless jobs, where the results actually occur after all the hard work has been put in, so there are few rewards along the way. Do other jobs offer more fulfillment (and fewer hours)? Probably something everyone wishes for but seldom finds...

What are my options outside of teaching?