Relief

For about 24 hours, I was concerned. Not overly worried because I'm realistic and didn't have enough information, but I was concerned. The ultrasound tech and my doctor told me yesterday that it looked like my little Katie was getting behind on her growing. All sorts of thoughts ran through my head: are my exercising and efforts to be healthy actually harming her? Is my placenta not working properly? Is there something wrong with her? Will I have to go on bedrest? No, I can't! Ellie needs me!
And I felt vulnerable and helpless. I did internet research about IGR (Intrauterine Growth Retardation), the acronym I heard my doctor use when calling the high-risk doctor to schedule me an appointment. I read that babies who aren't growing properly are often born early, by induction or cesearean, so they can get what they need to grow in the NICU. How could it be that my womb is not the safest and best place for my unborn baby to be?! Frustration.
Today I had another ultrasound. The result: Katie's arms and legs are shorter than average, but she is otherwise perfect... just on the small side. That's it. Neither Paul nor I are tall, long-limbed people. Makes sense, I suppose. The doctor was not in the least bit worried. Me? I'm relieved! And you can bet that for those 24 hours of uncertainty, I was placing it all in God's hands...
Now if I could stop sweating all the too small things and instead enjoy the just right small things, like the fact that Katie likes to hang out on my right side and sticks her butt out often while stretching her little legs and tickling my ribs with her feet, or the fact that she tends to arch her neck and has yet to hide her face with her hands (unlike her sister did all the time!) when I see her image on the screen... or just the fact that I get extra opportunities to see her and try to get to know her before I can hold her in my arms! Aren't all those wonderful things?
I think she's going to be petite and feisty.