Growing up, letting go

At the beginning of the summer, I was given advice about how to help Ellie adapt to the impending newness in her life: baby sister, starting school, being away from me... Advice which I quickly rejected, determined to have a busy summer with my girl and enjoy our last months of "just us." And I have stuck with my plan... but in doing so, I have unknowingly also taken steps to help her adapt to the changes that are coming.
As I get ready for the baby, she gets ready for the baby with me, from going to the doctor, shopping for strollers, picking out ducky pajamas, making blankets, dyeing onesies together, talking about what life will be like with the Katester... Ellie has been part of the whole process. When she talks about our family, Katie is already a part of it. Ellie isn't the baby anymore; Katie is. Katie has a seat at the dinner table even though she cannot use it yet. Katie has her own toys and clothes, and even though they once were hers, Ellie has not once claimed them as her own. And all of this is Ellie's doing. She has accepted and adapted already, and Katie isn't even born yet.
Of course I wonder if all this will last once the Terrible Terror (as we affectionately call her) actually comes into our lives, or if it's just another fun "pretend game," but only time will tell. For now, I am focusing on our action-packed summer. I asked friends for input about things they did or wish they had done with their first kids before their seconds were born, and I got some good ideas which can be summed up as: make the most of her last days as an only child (and my last days as a parent of one). So in that spirit, we've been here, there, and everywhere all summer: the Children's Museum, birthday parties, swimming lessons, Kemah Boardwalk, the beach, Dinosaurs at Moody Gardens, dance camp... and there's more to come, with her first time at the movies planned for next week, a gymnastics class, and a full week of Vacation Bible School. Of course, amidst all that, we have time at home to play, color, make crafts, cook together, and just relax too. After all, life is only getting busier.
The two-day-a-week preschool will start at the end of August. Ellie is a naturally anxious kid who needs a lot of questions answered and a clear picture in her mind to give her security, so we've talked about what preschool will be like, especially the part where Mommy won't be there with her. But all the talking won't help her fully understand; she has to experience being away from me. How can I prepare her for that? Then it dawned on me: I already am. I watched her swimming lessons from the side of the pool. I watch her dance classes from the other side of a two-way mirror. I will not be in the same room as her at VBS. Slowly, I have been pulling away from her, and she is realizing that she is ok without me by her side all the time. And I am realizing that I am ok without her by my side all the time too.
It dawned on me a few days ago when I was talking to another mom at the dance studio, telling her that I was staying because I don't live right around the corner, so by the time I got home, it'd be time to get back in the car and pick up Ellie from class, and heck, I don't really have anything else to do at the time... I need these transitional phases just as much as Ellie does. To not be the person in charge of her all day every day is not an easy pill to swallow, but it is a necessary one. The realization was unexpected; I never thought I'd need help with the change too. But I do, and what we are doing to get there is the right way for us. My little girl is growing up... and so am I.