Is a virtue

As Little has gotten older, I think I've lost patience. I've lately been wondering where all that surplus patience I had when she was a newborn ran off to? It can't be that I used it all. Maybe it got spent on teaching? *sigh* I sure wish I had a little more of it these days. It's been pretty hard, with her being sick so much and not able to tell us what's wrong, but hopefully we're getting close to figuring it out (please God).

Today just about goes down in the books for awful. Cranky baby, frustrated and worried mommy, exhaustion, and a thousand other tiny things (and not so tiny like vomit all over the backseat of the car) made today totally shit. So much that I am probably going to weigh an extra pound tomorrow due to stress and cookies. Hopefully she's well enough that we can work in a trip to the Y between taking her poop sample to the doctor and her nap. More than anything, though, I just want my Little back. She's not been herself, and it's so... devastating. She's really trying, and I love how much she loves on me and wants me all the time, but it's also so all-consuming and between trying to feed her during WW3: Mealtime and worrying about her last poop (who would have ever thought...), I feel like I'm being a crappy mommy and not giving her all the attention she needs/wants. Like I'm worrying too much about other things (related to her) that I don't focus on her. If that even makes sense. I don't know. I just feel like I have lost patience with her and that I'm not being the best mommy I can be, so I am going to work on this patience thing. That's the key to it. I cruise all day, and then crash and burn every evening with a massive headache and salty eyes. It's exhausting and I will not continue this way.
Now I just hope God agrees with my plan.