The Sun is Out and my back is red, but I Don't Care

I had an AMAZING day with Little today. The kind of day that washed away all those negative feelings from the past weeks.

It started when she decided that she wanted to go to the beach this morning. At first, I was going to say no, because I had planned on the usual routine of breakfast, playtime, gym, lunch, nap etc. But then I thought, why not? Who says I have to stick to my planned routine? So I told her we could go after breakfast. We invited some friends who already had zoo plans (and they in turn invited us to the zoo), so I asked Little which she would prefer. Never before has she turned down the zoo. We headed out to the beach, just the two of us. We parked, headed down to the sand, found a spot for our things, and headed to the water. She was timid at first, clinging tightly to my hand, worried about seaweed brushing up against her. We stepped out of the water and took a break to collect sea shells and dig in the sand. Then it was time to rinse off. And boy did we ever. There were quite a few other people at the beach, and I noticed a dad and his son, lying on their stomachs in the sand and water, digging holes into the muck. I thought "how sweet that the dad gets down and dirty to have a good time with his kid." I looked down at Little, and decided then that if I thought it was so sweet, why wasn't I sitting in the muck with my kid. I invited Little to sit with me and fling muck instead of wiping it off my legs every time she got a drop on me. It was like a gateway to a world of fun. After that, I wasn't sure I was with my same child; this one was dancing, singing, taunting the waves, splashing, laughing, letting go of my hand, falling down, going under water (in the OCEAN), getting back up, smiling, crawling into the water, wading into chest-deep waves, walking away from me, and doing it all with no fear. Who is this toddler who looks and sounds like my Little? What a joy! What a blessing to have this day of much-ness.

She fell asleep in the car on the way home and continued to be overall pleasant until bedtime. She just amazed me. Aside from stepping out of her boundaries at the beach, she had other small successes today too: she started to jump for the first time (both feet in the air), she went down most of the stairs without holding onto anything, she made up her own dinnertime prayer and said it with no help, and she made her biggest peepee ever in the potty. All while being her delightful, charming self. Where was this little girl hiding all this time? This sounds more like the Little I was so familiar with! I'm so glad she's back.

Lesson learned: I will appreciate her good days. I will. I'll let myself sit in the muck and get dirty. I can always shower later.