Perceptions

Last Sunday, in church, I saw a woman who had made some news headlines years ago. She was the astronaut who got involved in some sort of love triangle, went a little crazy, and drove hundreds of miles to confront a woman about a man... or something like that. There she was, in the front pew, with her twin daughters and teenage son, husband nowhere to be seen. I'm guessing the incident had a negative impact on her marriage. I remember noticing her across the aisle at church many many years ago (not having a clue as to who she was or what she did for a living), first pregnant and later with her two girls after they were born. The picture of a perfect family, I observed them from a distance week after week, never imagining that what would happen was even a remote possibility. Now whenever I see her thin frame, holding her girls close to her, I can't help but think about the day she made headlines. I can't see her without mentally referencing her scandal. I don't judge her by it; I define her by it. And I wish I didn't.

I don't write about this total stranger and my perception of her to be gossipy or judgmental, but rather to make a point about the way we perceive people, even (maybe especially) those we do not really know at all. We obviously have no other way to perceive and respond to people other than by what we know of them, but because of that, I think our own limited knowledge hinders our ability to see them the way God does. We think we know it all, but our judgments are "superficial, based on appearance and actions, things easily interpreted by whatever state of mind or prejudice that supported the need to exalt [ourselves], or to feel safe, or to belong" (from The Shack). We consider ourselves superior ("I certainly wouldn't get involved in a love triangle and destroy my marriage"), and thus able to look down upon and judge others for their actions. There are two problems with this: the first one is that by judging people in this way, we are automatically deeming them unlovable, and we were made to be loved, so that goes against our very nature (although we even often see ourselves as unlovable as well, which only heightens the problem), and the second problem is that we are allowing ourselves to define people by their actions instead of by their humanity.